Race Week Reflections and Gratitude

Brain dump ahead of the BPN “Survive The Night” Ultra This Weekend

Three months. ~253 miles logged, with ~130 of them in just the last 30 days.

On August 22nd, I learned I’d been selected—out of a lottery of thousands—to run 50 miles overnight at a race hosted by one of the largest supplement brands in the world. The challenge was daunting: nearly four times farther than I had ever run, through the night, from 6 p.m. to 6 a.m., on Halloween weekend at a ranch in Central Texas. My first reaction was anxiety—every excuse surfaced about why this was impossible. But my gut told me this was the jolt I needed. A chance to wake myself from stasis, to test limits I hadn’t touched in years, and to find out what I was truly capable of.

Fast forward three months, and the training miles are in. Alongside that effort, life brought its own milestones—an engagement, a new job—making this one of the most memorable and positive stretches of my life. As race weekend arrives, I’m filled less with nerves than with gratitude. Gratitude for the process, for the people around me, and for the chance to show up at the start line ready.

Coaching and preparation. I cannot overstate the value of good coaching. Under Ryan Dreyer at Tribal Training, I’ve never come close to injury or deep fatigue. He built a plan that drew on my background, accounted for my schedule, and steadily built my confidence. It was simple, effective, and sustainable—everything a plan should be.

My body. I’m grateful for years of training that gave me the capacity to pivot into endurance running and still trust my body to respond. Fitness is the ultimate compounding investment: work you put in years ago pays dividends when you decide to chase something new.

Community. Family, friends, mentors, even casual acquaintances—some knowingly, others unknowingly—have kept me accountable, inspired, and confident. You are the reason I take on challenges like this. You make the journey meaningful.

Consistency. I’m proud of the discipline I showed. Aside from one four-day stretch (where I still hit my mileage), I didn’t miss a session. Every workout was executed, and I even kept up twice-weekly strength training. Could my nutrition and mobility work have been sharper? Absolutely. But the training itself was as close to a 10/10 as I could hope for.

Some moments stand taller than others. The clearest: running 26.2 miles through Manhattan on a random Tuesday. Being between jobs was a blessing—I had the window to attempt it. One of my biggest doubts had been: How can I run 50 miles if I’ve never even run a marathon? That day, with a four-hour session scheduled, I knew I’d be close to the distance. So I pushed. I wanted to know, in my bones, that I could. That run broke me down physically and mentally, but it also built me up. It stripped away the stories I tell myself and forced me to see what was left when excuses fell away. That experience is now a cornerstone of my confidence.

Now, just days out, I feel the nerves. They sit next to excitement. And I remind myself: nerves are good. They mean this matters. Out of thousands of entrants, I get to toe the line. I get to celebrate the work I put in while surrounded by hundreds of others chasing their own limits. I’ve already won by staying committed through a season of change.

I hope the day brings a 50-mile finish in under 12 hours. But the real victory has already happened: I showed up, I did the work, I stayed consistent despite distractions and the fear of failure. Running has become more than training. It has become a grounding force—quiet mornings before the city wakes, feet on pavement, thoughts sharpening with each step.

The race is still ahead. But the preparation is complete. Now comes the fun part. To test myself, to push past fear, to learn who I am through challenge. To remind myself that I am, above all, an athlete—and that joy is the reason I do this in the first place.

One foot in front of the other. That’s all it takes. See you on the other side.